Hello

 Hello

Today is dedicated to the shiftfucks in our lives who always seize the chance to come at us.

Yesterday, Me and my friends agreed to meet after work somewhere 2 hours away from where I live. We didn’t have a car so we asked a coworker for a ride. He dropped us near where we’re heading but to reach there we had to take a “tomnaya”.

I had absolutely no Idea what a tomnaya was till i saw it. Imagine the child of a microbus and a Tuktuk. Ok, obviously we are taking this tomnaya, we will just have to figure out how to fit ourselves into it. I hunched my back and just took a dive. I hit a middle aged man and a woman holding a baby on my way in and they had absolutely no problem with it, obviously they dont mind having their personal spaces invaded, they had made peace with it.

Don’t get me wrong I am not a snob, I like public transportation as much as the next guy. I loved taking metros and buses around Europe. Just give me something even remotely humane to work with.

In Egypt you have to make peace with a lot of things. For example, you need to know how to butcher a goat. You need to learn how to cuss relentlessly to survive the ruthless streets of cairo. You need to know how to make crazy bargains because everyone is trying to steal from you. you are expected to know how to cross the roads like A freakin olympic. And  of course you need to know the quantum physics of how to squeeze yourself into a Tomnaya. 

In the begining there was the word.

On the 19th of June this year, I will turn 30. I wasn’t planning on making a big deal out of it, but by pure coincidence  I checked how many days left before the big date, and I found out I had exactly 150 days.

The number had a revelatory aspect too powerful to ignore. I am in stage of life where I am not really satisfied of where I stand. I am simply not proud of the person I am.

I begin this 150 day challenge with heavy baggage. On a professional level I stand doubtful of whether i can compete in the environment i work in. I am clearly on the introverted side of the spectrum, which is highly unfavorable in my field. Furthermore, I have grown more and more inclined to retreat to less confrontational territories.   But I also have this aching voice that tells me not to give in: «"You owe this to your family and to yourself ". 

On a spiritual level, I am lost, for lack of better word. I feel consumed and overwhelmed by the material world that is slowly swallowing me. I spend days, even weeks, not thinking of why am I doing what I am doing. Why am I being good? Am i turning to bad person? Do I deserve to go to heaven?

I dont have a healthy lifestyle: i dont do any sport, I dont eat well, i don’t sleep well. I don’t have healthy breakfasts. I am always running to catch the bus to work, nervous to go through the day, wondering whether I will be able to survive another day.

I don’t like how I look or how I dress myself. I wear anything that doesn’t need ironing because i dont have the luxury of time to choose.

I am almost 50,000 EGP in debt, my car needs to be repaired or simply be replaced. 

I will begin a daily blog with the ultimate goal of ending this marathon... a better man.